I-Phone Photo Dump #5

From zapping monsters with the remote control, to daddy and Mile snuggles, roaring like dinosaurs, Spiderman medicine, house hunting, making cookie dough (just to eat)...is just a few bits and pieces of the last month.

A glimpse of life through the i-phone

 

 

 

Miles @ 5 Months

Man oh man I feel like time is flying so fast.


It's been 5 months Wednesday since this guy joined our family.

Words can not describe how much joy he brings to our lives everyday.

 

Recapping the last month...

 

These feet captures taken at his 4 month session. Probably the top ten photos I have of him. There is just something about those 10 tiny toes

 and these baby rolls.

 His eye contact is amazing.

 He tried real food & not sure he approved...

 He had a big day... his Baptism

 

We had a private baptism right before the church service. I really enjoyed it, the whole family gathered around the baptismal fountain, making it much more intimate. I had wanted to get photos of the actual baptism, but I forgot camera battery on the charger, awesome right? Doug ran home after the baptism so we could get a few shots after the service.

 

During the service Miles slept like a dream in his Aunt Kim's arms (well actually he slept through his entire baptism as well). When he woke up he was feeling less than photogenic. It turns out he had a fever of 102, so what we did get, he was a champ. Harrison was still running a temp near the same which is why he isn't in any of these photos.



 

He's lucky to have his Uncle Ben and Aunt Kim in his life (his Godparents).

 

 Miles with Grandma McKee and Great Grandma Otto.

Snuggles with his Aunt Kim again :)

 

Lack of photos from his special day...yes. When I put down the camera it doesn't continue to take photos by itself. I wish it did. We missed photos of Miles with Grandpa and Grandma Nelson, his cousins and Auntie Potter. A special thank you goes out to my Mom for helping me put together this day and hosting the luncheon, she's amazing mom and grandma.

 

 

Yes, this guy is really 5 months old.

 





 



Sleep: Well... I got an e-mail from one of the site's I follow yesterday called Baby Center. The e-mail started out: "Most babies sleep through the night by now." MOST. MOST, but not Miles. Nope this guy hasn't slept through the night since he was 4 months old. He stopped sleeping through the night when he got RSV. Since then he hasn't been well health wise. Running temperatures at night, still coughing and just not being able to go more than a few hours between feedings even when he got back up to full feeds again. I guess his body is telling him, I need to grow! Doug's been fantastic about getting up with him at night. I have a terrible time falling back asleep after I get up in the middle of the night. I've tried nursing him in bed, in which we both usually fall asleep but the more I do that the more he thinks he can nursing for comfort tool rather than to get down to business and eat like he should be doing.

 

 

At 5 months I wouldn't say he has regular sleep pattern. Evenings are more predictable than days. Most evenings he likes to settle down for bed around 9 and gets up at 1-2 am and is back into bed until about 5/5:30 am. He's still sleeping in rock and play and most likely will be until he starts sleeping through the night again. Anyways, I'm not quite ready to hand him his eviction notice, I like him in our room still.

 

Feeding: He is our 3 hour guy. No matter the amount of the feeding he's hungry every three hours. I think this is just him, he's been this way since he was just a few days old. Typically most feedings are between 4-5 ounces. We also tried rice cereal this past month. He didn't especially dig it, but he didn't hate it. A few days following his first bites of cereal I tried again, about the same reaction. Last week I tried bananas with him, he liked those a lot less than the cereal. I've got apples in the cabinet to try next, Harrison loved those.

 

Personality: He's so much fun...I swear  he is the most talkative, social baby I've ever met. Anyone that meets him always comments on how much he has to say---so I'm guessing he's taking after his Momma in that social category. We call him our story-teller, LOVES, LOVES to be talked too, full of smiles, coos, giggles and blows raspberries.

 

He knows what he wants. Miles is the kind of baby like what I have labeled a face out. He wants to be looking at everything so don't you dare hold him inwards or cradle him like a baby, he doesn't want to miss a thing! Most evenings he is carried around in the baby Bjorn; I don't know what we would do without it. He's trying hard to sit (loves his bumbo) I actually thought he'd be sitting by now just because of his eagerness to be part of everything. When laying on a pillow or his boppy he is constantly trying sit himself up further. It looks like he is trying to do crunches. With all of his attempts he's probably got a six pac under those baby rolls. :)

 

Like I said, he knows what he wants. He doesn't want tummy time. Which is the reason at 5 months, he hasn't rolled over yet. Some attempts are better than others to put him on his belly. Just the other day he let me prop him up well, looked around while on his belly...I quick ran to get the camera and that was the end of that; I guess that's how it usually goes.

 

Bath time is almost everyday. He's a fish...LOVES to be in the tub. Scroll down to the post below this---he can now bumbo in the tub with Harrison, they both love it! Sometimes when he is fussy I just give him a bath and it works like magic. I'm excited for his first trip to Wisconsin Dells water park next month.

 

He loves to touch and grab things and seems to easily get bored now if he doesn't have a toy or a blanket out in front of him to grab. Oh and he loves to pull his mommas hair too!

 

Appearance/Size: I know you can't tell by the photos---but he has so much more hair than Harrison had, it's darker too, but I don't expect it to stay this dark. I was a blondie as a child, not to mention his blonde dad.

 

Mr. Chunk weighed in at 14lbs 7 ounces at his doctor appointment today (more his appointment in later post). He's gained about 6 ounces in last month, which is phenomenal given all of his recent sickness. I expected less of a gain. I guess this goes back to him being every 3 hour kind of feeder.

 

Milestones this month:

-Trying baby food

-Getting Baptized

-Fighting 2 strains of RSV & first ear infection

 

What I am looking forward too:

-Sitting (I am SO excited for this)

-Rolling over

-Sleeping through the night again

 

 



 

 

 

Momma said, "There are going to be days like this."

Any mom that works outside of the home can relate to this post.

The last week has been a total reflection period. I don't hate work, but I hate the fact I am missing my kids lives. Each morning starts out at 4:30 am and ends at about 11 pm. I get to see my  kids awake about 3.5 hours of every day. One hour of that is spent feeding and prepping them to get out the door in the morning. The evening is an hour of getting dinner made, picking up things and taking care of that everyday stuff. That 3.5 hours quickly rolls down to 1.5 hours a day. Most weekends are filled with cleaning, open houses and photo sessions. I am sleep deprived beyond belief. I want to make it clear, I am not complaining, but rather venting the reality parenting and real life.

Most evenings are chaotic with sleep deprivation. I'm crabby, I'll be the first to admit it. I find myself having the quarter of the patience I normally do with Harrison; it's not fair to him. There isn't enough time for play, enough time to snuggle, enough time to ask my husband, "How was your day?"

I try to plan time out for the kids individually/together. Date nights for Doug and I sometimes make the calender. Never did I ever think I would have to get out calendar to schedule time with my own family. It's not fair. My kids deserve a mother that has patience, a life that isn't being rushed and ran by a clock.

I am missing out on the everyday real life stuff. Slow down growing boys.

 

Linked 13: Comfort

It's still early in the linking year...so I have plenty of time to eventually post linked theme on time, right?

If you read the post below you know our littest guy has been sick---making for several sleepless nights at our home. Last night was a very restless night, Doug and I took turns getting up with him, or I should say staying up since we weren't really sleeping.

After Miles finally gave in....there is nothing like finding comfort in your own bed.

More Comfort @

 Carla, Hanne, Heather, Heidi, Janet, Jenn, Kristin, Rhonda, Tracey and Tracy

UGH. Sickness

So are you tired of reading about sickness? Believe me I am tired of typing about it. I am so done with winter---all the coughs, fevers and sleepless nights that go with it. However with mother nature dumping another 6 inches of the white fluffy stuff last night...it's like the tunnel that just got darker.

Miles has been sick ever since his vaccinations one week ago. I'm not one of those people who blame vaccinations for everything, in fact I'm not blaming them at all. Saturday/Sunday following Friday's well check Miles ran fevers around 100, which is and can be common following vaccinations. His appetite (for a boy that can certainly eat) starting weaning Sunday. Monday the cough started, Tuesday I took him to urgent care and that evening the low grade fever returned. I got the spiel from the doctor, "it's just a virus." I think it's funny how doctors treat parents like they have never had a sick child before. God knows I think we went through everything with Harrison...I don't bring my child to the doctor unless I really have a red flag.

Doug brought Miles to daycare for a few hours Wednesday. Wednesday evening his symptoms got worse. Thursday we kept him home. His fevers have been clustering in the evening at at night for the last 2 days. He continues to cough so hard he vomits (twice in the middle of the night last night). We put a call into his regular doctor yesterday as there have been several confirmed cases of RSV in his infant room at daycare. Just as we thought, the doctor doesn't feel a need to test for RSV---because it's a virus that can't be treated by any antibiotics.

The order is to continue to watch him too see if we notice any respiratory distress/turning blue to bring him in. That certainly makes me feel at ease...not.

Seems so unfair, especially at just 4 months old. There are no treatments besides the saline spray and Tylenol we have been using. He continues to eat very little. The only time he will eat a little more is through nursing. If I wasn't nursing this time around I don't know if he would be eating anything at all.

I'm home with him again today. He's catching some rest this afternoon, I'm hoping to catch come zzzs too.

 

Miles @ 4 Months

Time to dust off the key board and post something on here.

I'm late on Miles 4 month update, but what have you come to expect from me? They always say you never take as many pictures of the second child or keep up with the things you did with first born. Miles is getting the shaft... I promise to be a better blogger about him and take more pictures!

4 months---

Sleep: He's been consistently sleeping through the night (minus this past weekend with fever and cold following his 4 months well check-up and shots). He usually put him down at about 9 or 10pm and he wakes up anywhere from 5 to 6:30. He's still sleeping in our room in the Sleep and Rock or Rock and Sleep---whatever it's called made by Fisher Price. Doug talked about transitioning him to his crib the other day. I changed the subject, I don't think I'm ready for that yet. I need to soak up every little baby moment, knowing he just maybe our last baby.

Feeding: Miles prefers the all you can eat buffet. He'd nurse all night you let him. I guess he's a boob man. When I have to whip out the artificial boob (aka--the bottle) he drinks 4-6 oz a feeding. I continue to supplement 1-2 bottles a day of formula because there is no way that I could figure our another time to pump a third time during the work day. I travel so much as it is now. It's an obstacle to find a empty parking lot and climb into the back seat and hook myself up to the milking machine. My co-worker actually told me the other day she used to pump and drive and the same time. That sounds like a good idea, but if I was pulled over I don't know what I would tell the officer. The best thing about taking the time to pump is that is forces me to take a break in my work day and it's a much healthier than taking a 15 minute smoke break.

At Miles 4 month check up he weighed in 14lbs 1 oz. That is roughly 1-2 lbs more than Harrison weighed at this age.  I keep thinking Miles just looks so much bigger than Harrison did. I searched all over for Harrison 4 month check, but being a preemie, his check ups were same regular intervals as Miles are. Miles has stretched out to 24 inches long. That's quite the length jump from birth when he measured 18.5 inches long. Head circumference (which I rarely pay attention to) was 40.1 cm. All around he is in the 15 percentile for weight, length and head circumference.

Personality: He laughs out loud and squeals in delight. He's becoming very ticklish (I think he gets that from me). I love all of his toothless smiles. Overall he is a happy baby. I couldn't have imagined that we were ever be where we are after what he had in store for us his first 6 weeks!

He loves the bath. We are on a e/o day bathing routine but I'm sure he wouldn't object to more often. The excitement on his face when his feet hit the water. Other things that excite him are music, flashing lights, rattles, bouncing, peek-a-boo and singing. If we were only entertained  that easily.

Call him Mr. Social. This is the biggest difference I've seen between Miles and Harrison. Miles is very talkative...lots of cooing and gurgling back. I am hoping his personality stays the way it is, Doug and I were always pretty shy as children.

Appearance/Size: He looks huge to us! We visited the children's museum yesterday and as we got off the elevator a lady said, "Oh look at that newbie." She had to be talking to us because we were the only ones that were on the elevator. From photo to photo he doesn't look very big, but lugging around the heavy car seat tells us he is packing on the baby chub.

Milestones this month:
-Starting daycare
-Laughing out loud
-Grabbing at toys

What I am looking forward to:
-Rolling over
-Long naps
-More smiles & giggles

And since I've been less than a regular blogger lately I am jamming his 4 Month Well Check Appointment and daycare up date in this post.

4 Month Well Check: The appointment went as normal---wake them up. take off the clothes, even the diaper so they are freezing cold, weigh them, stretch them out, hear them scream and once you get them calmed down it's time for shots. Happy Well-Check! However shots this time were the same as at his two month appointment but he spiked a fever the next morning and it followed the next day as well. It also made him lose his appetite. From the time we woke up at 5 am Sunday morning he only drink a total of 4 ounces by 1 pm. Despite the fever and lack of food he was happy.

Daycare: The road I didn't want to go on again. It's not that I think daycare is a bad thing because it's not. There are parts of it that I love and parts of it I don't. Monday of last week Miles started at daycare. Day one went well (for both Mom and Miles). Doug came with to drop off everything. It was day #2 that was mom's (my) breaking point. He slept from the time Doug picked him up at daycare until 9:15pm when he finally let me wake him up. Then ate and went back to bed. I never saw awake more than a half hour the entire day. Talk about missing your kids life while you at work. It's was like I'm paying someone to do the job I am supposed to be doing. The next morning I bawled the entire morning. I think the 5 weeks I've been back at work, thinking I was doing OK was bottled up and exploded. Am I better now? I like to think so. But there are moments like when I picked him up today and staff member asks, "So which one is yours?" That makes me look at daycare as a baby factory. Oh, and he's got a cold after 4 days too. I'm still adjusting, I think Miles is too.





I've got more pictures...I promise to post soon!

Tubes: Round TWO

Kudos to us for getting two kids and ourselves up and out of the house by 5:45 am this morning. The subzero Minnesota weather was not an incentive to get up and going.

We needed to be at the hospital by 6:45 am for Harrison's tube surgery.

 Harrison was in a fantastic mood for not being a morning person.

The wait was the worst part of the whole thing. The wait for the actual surgery to start and the wait for him to come back from recovery.

At least there were cool toys to play with while we waited...

He totally rocked getting his weight check and vital signs done. A favorite of his was this oximeter. He even tried it out on daddy. The nurses were FANTASTIC with him which only made him more at ease.

The one thing he couldn't have was food/water... He didn't take that lightly. Surgery started at about 7:50 and he normally doesn't eat until 8ish, but the early start left him saying, "I'm hungry." Distractions weren't making a dent in his request.

The first thing out of surgery? Well...Marshmallows of coarse.

 

As far as the surgery itself. Doug took him back to the OR room. I just couldn't do a second time. When he was 13 months old the first time he was so unaware of what was going on, but at 3 now, he totally knows. The nurse I talked to the evening before on the phone said, "If you have any doubt you won't do well, don't take him in, kids can read your nerves/fears." The last thing I wanted to do is freak the kid out more than he was already going to be.

Doug carried him back, blanket, plug and Spider Man. I wanted to get a photo of this, but I was a little pre-occupied with worrying. It wasn't worrying about the actual procedure as much as how it would be bringing back to the OR room. When they left I listened intently for cries. I heard cries, but not Harrison cries. Doug walked back into the room and said, "I'm impressed, proud of him, he didn't cry or even put up a fight...He didn't want to lay on his back at first but willing turned over and was out in a matter of seconds with the anesthesia.

While Harrison was in surgery Doug and I talked about how AMAZING this kid is. Yeah he does have some things to work on (more about that later), but overall, he is one incredible kid. His behavior has been impressive at home in the last several weeks and his language/communication is growing in leaps and bounds. He is now talking in complete sentences regularly and is shocking me everyday with new things. Tonight he said to me, "Momma, you have to talk louder, daddy didn't hear you." Even just a few weeks ago he wasn't able to talk that complete. The kid knows most of the days of the week, loves singing, counting, knowing left from right, all of his colors. Wow.

Not only is so smart, but he can put a smile on your face when your sleep deprived, crabby or just plain blah. He is the funniest comedian I know and the best big brother any kid could ever ask for.

Recovery time took longer than the actual procedure... It felt like we waited forever, but it was really more like 30-45 minutes for him to wake back up. He arrived back a little groggy but only mention of anything of discomfort as he said, "Momma, I've got water in my ears. This afternoon at nap time he complained his head hurt and he wanted a "puppy treat" (a code name for chewable Tylenol).


I brought home a large stuffed Spider Man home yesterday evening. Harrison totally earned him today. The nurses nick named him Spider Man. He was just glowing with excitement.

After nap- we clicked a few of him and his NEW Spider Man. I'm a little sad it was getting dark out at images aren't as crisp and yellowed due with lack of natural light. They probably can be fixed, I just didn't want to fight with color balance tonight.

 

Linked 13: Fresh

Welcome back to linking! A name change this year, Linked 13. Instead of posting weekly (Linked 52), you will see monthly posts on the last Friday of every month. Well, expect this month...as I thought January had 32 days, but nope the calander says tomorrow is February 1st!

Fresh Fallen Snow

More FRESH @

 Carla, Hanne, Heather, Heidi, Janet, Jean, Jenn, Kristin, Rhonda, Tracey and Tracy

Make Me Smile

Oh gosh...Where do I express the love for this series of photos?

A year ago, well even 6 months ago Harrison would have never cooperated for a "studio session," let alone even have his picture taken. He had all of you fooled right? The kid HATED the camera.

These days he loves helping in anyway he can. Last weekend I told him I needed help trying out new back drops for client sessions.


We had a blast and as an added bonus we even got few keepers!

And then a melt a mommy's heart moment...

 

3 Year NICU Vet

I can't believe this month we celebrated 3 years since we brought Harrison home from the hospital.

January 19, 2010 will always be a special anniversary in our lives. After 52 days of tears, love, laughter and fears we walked out of the hospital doors with our baby boy. I cried a lot that day. I still get emotional thinking about it.

Each year since we have been home we have celebrated this special day.

He really is our SUPER HERO!

Red Paint

He was home sick today...After watching countless hours of Mickey Mouse I was sure I was going to go crazy! It was time for an intervention, so we decided to paint.

I started out painting the picture with him...but left for a minute to switch the laundry and came back to this...

I'd say he has preference for the color red.

Again.

You aren't reading the same entry as the previous one...  It happened again. For real.

A garbage can to the side of the bed can only mean one thing... Only this time he is even sicker than last time. He doesn't even get a stretch longer than 3 days in between sickness. No amount disinfectant can keep him healthy. Poor guy.

Happy Monday and happy day one of vacation. 

Strike, Spare, Jump, Giggle

It had been more than 6 months since Harrison went bowling last. When I brought the idea up to him yesterday morning to go bowling, I know he had no idea what bowling was.

Last time we took him, he barely bowled 3 frames and couldn't pick up even the lightest ball or even wear bowling shoes (small feet = no bowling shoes small enough). This time he steadily bowl the entire first game, had no problem lugging around that heavy ball and he wore his first pair of bowling shoes. (He only tried to bowl in the nearby lanes a few times :) Perhaps a favorite part of his evening included a burger and fries and the white/neon lights with the disco ball.


Here are some of my favorite moments from the evening. He's growing up WAY too fast for my liking.

Bring me a bucket...

January  has been filled with sickness for a 3 year old

week one: double ear infection
week two: influenza
week three: norovirus


I can't wait to see what's in order for week four, especially since I am home on vacation.




There isn't such a thing as a break. Friday morning we awoke to 4 am vomit. For real?



We cleaned him, put fresh new jammies, gave him a drink of water and he snuggled with his Spiderman sleeping bag, puppy dog and monkey blanket.

He ended up only puking 2 more times to much relief, but when the puking stopped the pooping started. Despite all of this he was in good spirits...Maybe he is just getting used to being sick?  Kids are so resilient and hardly anything stands between them and their toys.

 

Miles @ 3 Months

3 Months, January 13

3 months ago we stopped sleeping through the night, sleeping in became a thing of the past, we regularly smell of baby vomit and poop, our house is less than organized and I wouldn't have it any other way.

It hasn't taken me 3 months to realize that I want to do this again. I knew from the moment we came home from the hospital with Miles just the same feeling I had with Harrison. I can't imagine not doing this again. Our family isn't complete, not yet anyways. Doug on the other hand may take some convincing :).Watching how fast they grow and change and develop their personalities is just simply amazing. We are so, so blessed to have these children.


Oh, how he has changed so much already.

3 Months---


Sleep: Improving that last 3 days. Sleep a 6 hour stretch and 7 hour stretch two nights in row. Really, that felt like best birthday, Mother's Day, & Christmas present all wrapped into one. Since he is developing a regular (clock work) feeding schedule sleep is becoming more predictable. This will only hopefully improve as he reaches the 4 month marker (in which percentage of babies start sleeping through the night regularly). I know from experience sleep will be a roller coaster. His big brother is 3 and still doesn't always sleep through the night, so we know what we are in for.

Feeding: Weighs in at a solid 12lbs (he had to be weighed yesterday for his Tamiflu dosage). This means he doesn't have a problem guzzling down 4-5, 4 ounce bottles a day and nursing 2-3 times a day. Since I went back having to keep to a schedule has been a benefit. I make it a point to pump at least 2 times during the work day. Hopefully when I start making my home visits again I will be just as diligent as I even mapped out time in the day to pump. With this schedule I am on I pump up to 5-6 times a day if I don't nurse at all. In actuality Miles wouldn't need to be supplemented at all as I am producing enough to keep up with his demands. However I am still supplementing 1-2 bottles of formula per day as I want him to be able to consume breast milk for as long as he can so I am stretching it out making it last longer.

Personality: Lots of smiles, lots of coos (so vocal, I love this)! He's pretty easy to please as long as you don't ask him to do tummy time without a boppy pillow, put him in his car seat and you spend at least an hour an evening walking around with him. The baby Bjorn baby carrier has become a very loved item. He really enjoys hanging out on the floor kicking his legs and occasionally the swing. We have the exersaucer in storage, though his legs won't touch the floor for quite a while, I think I'll Doug bring it home since he has such good head control already and he hasn't rolled over yet, but that's just around the corner.

Appearance/Size: He seems so big. I swear they grow faster the second time around. He wear a nice double chin, hand dimples, chubby feet and toes and several thigh rolls well. You can no where physically he made his debut 5 weeks early. In fact he is fastly out growing all of his 0-3 month clothing. Where is my baby going? Pause please. His eyes are getting brighter blue everyday, I am certain he will be keeping those baby blues. Miles has had a nice mullet (hair) since birth and tons more hair than his big brother ever did. However in the past couple of weeks his hair is becoming a little sparser but his mullet seems to be holding on.


Milestones this month:

-Mommy returning to work
-Sleeping through the night
-Having his first cold

What I am looking forward this month:

-First giggles
-More restful nights
-A week of vacation

Three Months.



 Ok-- Mom, I'm done.

 

The Good, The Bad & The Inbetween stuff

Oh where do I begin? I feel like without having the opportunity to blog; the harder it will be to remember the good stuff, the bad stuff and the in between stuff of life. The last 3 weeks have been all of that. 

January 7th--my first day back to work (on top of my photography business). I get in my car to observe the check engine light flashing. "Wonderful," is my first thought. As I drop off Harrison at daycare I barely chugged the rest of the way to work. (I mean come on, is this a sign or what?) I called Doug immediately and he phones the dealership. The dealership advises me not to drive the car as it may cause further damage (apparently a flashing check engine light is worse than one that just stays on all the time). 3 hours later, my car was loaded on to a flat bed truck and delivered to the repair shop (thank goodness for warranties). Happy first day back to work...right? At least I have an amazing co-worker that plastered an obnoxious amount of MISSED YOU signs in my office along with delivery a bag of welcome back goodies. Did I ever need that pick me up.

Overall the first day was filled with pure catch-up. I was busy into my 100s of unread e-mails when these arrived...

Thank you to my amazing husband that filled my day with happy tears.

Since then work has been survival mode. The work itself hasn't been overwhelming...and like I mentioned, I have some amazing co-workers and a new boss---which makes the transition to the return of work and learning my new position since I was promoted. However, the 8+ days at work are draining, especially on the days I work out of our main office which is an 1 hour a way from home.

The struggle between needing to work and wanting to be home with the kids is very overwhelming. There is a lot of sadness, maybe more so now than just with one child. At Miles age evenings can especially be challenging. I am talking about what is known as the "Witch Hour." All day he is a happy baby but the evenings he is fussy and has high demands. Some days when I get home from work it feels like I just get the crabby baby. I know this is a phase (Harrison had a period of the same thing) and we will both make it through it, but frankly this transition period sucks.

Evenings go by way too fast. Harrison should be in bed by 8/8:30, but most nights we are lucky if it's 9/9:30. Why? I am still retraining myself back to this work routine, but that can be fully blamed. The real reasoning? I miss this kid...MISS HIM. By the time we walk in the door between 5/5:30 in the evenings, it's cooking dinner, dishes, prepping for the next day (I get everything we need together the night before, like clothes picked out, lunch made, bags by the door), play with toys for few minutes, bath, story, then bed. The time you have to enjoy your kids are so limited by the clock. It also doesn't help benefit us since we are in the middle of winter, sub-zero temperatures we can't even get outside. This means Harrison watches a lot more t.v. especially the nights (most nights) I come home from work I am so exhausted all I want to do is sleep.

And sleep...I am pretty much convinced I've never been this tired in my life. I can't get out of bed in the mornings until I have hit the snooze button more than 4 times or when Miles lets out a cry saying, "feed me." Like I already mentioned above I am practically listless in the evenings. Doug has been more than accommodating to let me spend the evening napping. I went to bed at 8:30 & 7:30 pm a few days. but with that said getting more sleep takes away time from the kids (even going to bed earlier, I am still just as tired too), especially when they are so young and need me the most. One day, I'll close my eyes and open them and and they will be teenagers. A lot of these lack of sleep struggles I first visited in the first 6 weeks after Miles was born, knowing I'll somehow make it through it eventually.

Sickness has swept through our house. Harrison is struggling with ear infections again. After 14 ear infections I thought we were done, but add two more for a grand total of 16 infections in three years. Harrison went almost a year without a single infection, but since his tube fell out this past fall he has had two infections in two months. What this has meant for him are sleepless nights, fever, vomiting and behavior I just can't explain. The last infection I didn't know what I was going to do with this child, he was seriously out of control. Not only was he defiant, he was aggressive, throwing things, being mean to the animals. Honestly it's like someone took our kid and replaced him with someone we don't know. I remember telling Doug when he got home from work one day, "I don't know what is wrong with this kid, he is out of control." That evening Harrison spiked a fever over 102. The next day it was New years we spent nearly 3 hours at urgent care to confirm the ear infection and order an antibiotic. Mid-way through the week Harrison still wasn't seeming better. Again, another trip to urgent care (keep reading I am sure we have already met this year's deductible). Harrison's ears were examined again and the doctor confirm the ear infection (but rather than just in the left ear as first confirmed, infection was in both ears) was still active, but very slowly healing. There was a lot of pus and fluid still present (yuck). The doctor also made and observation that 2 other doctors missed. One of Harrison's tubes was stuck inside his ear canal. During the appointment the doctor tried to fish out the tube, but was unsuccessful in doing so. This prompted me to call his ENT doctor to discuss. The doctor wanted to see Harrison a couple weeks later, waiting to give the infection time to heal and fluid to go down and to remove the tube and re-check his ear health over all.

We had the appointment yesterday. When we arrived at the clinic and parked in the ramp Harrison asked, "Momma, why are we at this car place?" I guess it's been a while since we parked at a ramp. Harrison did pretty good at the appointment, I think he would have done better if the nurse and doctor did a better job explaining what they were going to do rather than just holding him down. At one point I did interject and said, "You know what if you would talk to him and tell him what you are doing, we will be more cooperative."  You would think they would be pros at talking to kids since it's their profession, not so much I guess.

I got to see his ears up on the big screen. Harrison's right ear looks healthy and normal. The tube was removed from his left ear and also unveiled a large amount green thick fluid---I don't candy coat anything as you can clearly see. There isn't an active infection, but the fluid isn't healthy and can interfere with his hearing. Next we discussed options. Option one, wait 6-8 weeks to see if the fluid dissipates on it's own (or he gets another ear infection), option 2 place another set of tubes, option 3 remove his adenoids and replace the tubes. After 2 ear infections in two months without tubes, waiting the 6-8 weeks didn't seem like the best option. That left us with options 2 and 3. Option 3 the removal of the adenoids involved a breathing tube and more sedation. My immediate response was, too scary after everything we have already been through with him. We went with option 2, just to replace the tubes, If this set of tubes are unsuccessful we will have no choice to but to move to option 3 or possibly option 4 removing both the tonsils and adenoids and another set of tubes.

And the weird part is, the nurse handed me a paper clip with Harrison's tube on it on our way out. Not sure what I am going to do with it. Tube surgery is February 1st.

Rewinding now back to Monday, January 14 Harrison was back at urgent care with a fever (low grade between 99-100) and what we suspected as another ear infection. Instead of an ear infection we got a confirmed case of influenza. The test was vague in determining if he had strain A or strain B. The doctor said Harrison had a mild case and was actually on the mend and would be fine in a day or so... 4 days later his fever finally broke. A total fever for 6 days. Doug and I were starting to place bets if he was ever going to wake up fever free. Despite the fever, despite having the flu, Harrison did amazingly well and for the most part played and acted like himself, just more flushed and snotty.

Since Harrison tested positive for influenza he wasn't able to go to daycare/preschool for the entire week. But really Friday would have been the only day he could have gone. There are several cases of confirmed cases at his daycare/preschool, I am convinced he carried the bug home from there.

I have to give a great big shout out to my friend Amanda for taking a week off of work to not only watch Miles (we are still in the transition phase before he starts daycare) but she cared for Harrison all week as well. I seriously don't know what I would do without this girl, my boys are so lucky to have her in their lives.

Fast forwarding back to later in the week, specifically yesterday January 18th. Doug woke up with 103 + temp. Sounded like influenza to me. Doug was in denial. After he arrived 20 minutes before urgent care opened, he found 10 people a head of him in line.

Influenza confirmed. Type A. I guess from what Doug told me, they haven't seen strain A for a while. What's been happening this flu season is that they are seeing  a large number of people back in the flu twice. If they had strain A, they are getting strain B and vice verse. So this flu stuff isn't anywhere near over.

Doug's onset symptoms were caught fast enough to receive Tamiflu to help lessen the symptoms. Tamiflu was also ordered for not only me, but also Miles. Unlike Doug he takes Tamiflu twice a day, Miles and I only take it once a day. The hope is by getting Miles and I going on Tamiflu, if we do get the flu, we will be a head of the game is the hope, I kind of get the feeling someone should just place a big bag over our house that says, "Enter at your own risk." Doug and I had to cancel last night's black tie Chamber Banquet which I was really looking forward to having a reason to dress up for and claim a date night (our New Year resolution is to go on more dates, do more things as a couple).

And if case your wondering Doug and I got the flu shot, Harrison the mist and Miles is too young to receive the flu vaccine. Despite the vaccination it's running ramped through our house. It really makes you second guess if the vaccination is even 60 % effective like they say it is.

I haven't been nearly diligent enough to get the camera out like I should. I feel bad...Miles has about 25% of the photos we had of Harrison at his age. I haven't even taken his 3 month photos yet (that's on my to do for today). It's like he is getting the shaft and that's totally not fair. My friend Krisit's New Year resolution was to take 1 picture a day for the entire year. What an awesome resolution, I might have to add that to mine.

For now here are the bits and pieces of the last 3 weeks---

 

MIA

Missing In Action

I have so much to blog about, the return work, Harrison, Miles, life in general. Lots of updates to come now that I have my new photography website/blog up and running. With lots of frustration and about million tutorial videos I was pretty sure I would be 100 before I ever got it going; apparently I won the fight, it's up! Check it out by clicking HERE.


 

Tomorrow.

If your looking for an up beat post full of pictures...this isn't one, in fact it's completely the opposite.

As I type this entry tears stream down my face.  Tomorrow. Tomorrow I end this 12 week dream I have been living and face the reality of returning to work. It's supposed to be easier the second time around...at least you would think that right?

How is he almost 3 months old? He was just 4 days old yesterday...

I would lie if I don't wish everyday I could quit my job and stay home with my kids. I know life isn't fair, but that doesn't change me from wishing it was. I am so blessed to have these two beautiful boys, so I should just suck it up, I know...but it's like I can't. I'm sad, but I am guessing I didn't have to tell you that.

I sometimes wish my biggest decisions of the day consisted of what cartoon to watch and how to get out of nap time. My three year old has it good.

The way money controls this world, sucks. I remember my early college years surviving on some $400 a month. Fast forward 10 years and that doesn't even leave a dent in anything these days. Truth is though...money can not buy happiness.

I am staring at my work bag and pump by the door, so I'll be back in the office physically tomorrow, but the reality is emotionally I won't really be there.

I cried for weeks when I returned to work with Harrison. I couldn't even handle someone asking me about him or how I was doing at work since returning without bursting into tears. Someone should write a manual about how to effectively go back to work after maternity leave. I'm sure it would be a New York Times Best Seller.

Most people don't like making decisions. I am one of them. The decision to return to work was easy though because I really didn't have that choice. I know staying at home with the two boys what I would be in for. I 've had 12 weeks of practice and not everyday was filled with rainbows and puppy dogs, but we got through it. Before I started maternity leave I questioned my ability to stay home and if I could do it...Now I know I could, so I think that makes the punch a little harder.

I want this to be easier, oh how I tried to prepare myself for tomorrow, but now that it's actually here I have realized, you can't prepare yourself for this, it's going to suck period.