At the park

It's been WAY to long since we have had a Harrison and Mommy day. I've been on bed rest, with photo clients, surgery...Finally today came, a day of just me and this guy...

I had hoped to take a bunch of photos capping our excitement from today, but that fizzled...I was too busy being entertained by his giggles, humor, imagination and conversation.

I am so thankful for my four day work weeks...I look forward to these extra snuggles from Harrison and helping hands with house work. There is only 23 more of these days left until Harrison becomes a big brother and has to share his Fridays with Bee. I want him (and I) to soak up every single moment.

Here is another couple of shots from the day---I am loving the ketchup cheesy face.



Linked 52: Looking In

Mmmm... Cookies!

"Hurry up cookies, bake already!"

Another view from the inside...

Ending this post with crumbs...

More linking posts:

Stacey, Michelle, Heather, Tracey, Jenn, Jessica, Amanda, Kristin, Sara, Tracy, Lesli, Janet, Naomi, Rhonda, Rose, Carla, Heidi, Veronica, Amy, Liza, Heather, Jean & Kristi

Post-Opt

Today I had my follow up appointment with the doctor following surgery last week.

The appointment went well. The ultimate verdict via the doctor, "You should be outta the woods for any major complications from this surgery." I can continue walking as usual, but no lifting or hiking or anything else like that for another week. Doug and I are avid hikers, so we have wanted to do some hiking all spring, so I am excited for the first time in this pregnancy I won't have this restriction anymore. We bought our hiking pass last weekend, with the hope I would get the OK. Also with more exercise, I might have more endurance and not be so tired, my doctor agreed. So one more week and just maybe I won't be passed out on the couch at 6 PM. I also got the OK to go swimming in chlorinated water, but no rivers/lakes due to the incision/stitches and the risk of infection.

Overall the recovery process was fairly minimal. I spent the first two days in bed and the third day on the beach. I didn't have much pain after the first day of surgery. I suffered minimal complications, the more common ones such as light bleeding.

From a more medical stand point my blood pressure and Bees heart rate couldn't be any better. Crazy to say we will know Bees gender in less than two weeks, for some reason this suspense is driving me nuts! I can't remember being this off the wall about it with Harrison, but I am sure I was.We will be doing another fun photo session, this time for gender reveal, so it maybe a little longer until you know if we are having a boy/girl.

Thank you again to everyone who is showing support for Bee and our family. Certainly we still have a long road a head. With each piece of good news is like lifting a dark black cloud above us, soon sunshine will be beating down on us.

Have you checked out Bees latest bump update or Harrison's 30 month update? Scroll down, your in a treat for a bunch of cute photos.

Bee Report: Weeks 12-16

16 weeks is here!

size of baby: 12, weeks: plum, 13 weeks: peach, 14 weeks: lemon, 15 weeks: orange , 16 weeks: avocado. Hello second trimester! Baby is about 4.5 inches long and weighs about 3.5 oz. In the next few weeks Bee will double is size! This weeks bonus---baby Bee is starting to hear his/her first sounds thanks to tiny bones forming in the ears. Bee is also sprouting hair on his/her head eye brows and eye lashes.

cravings: Nothing crazy yet...I keep waiting, but I got nothing for you. The only thing is that Coke only tastes good in the morning. Yes, you can still have  a couple of Coke's a day, perfectly safe for mom and baby says every doctor/specialist I've seen.

what I love: The excitement of breaking the news to people who don't know we are expecting yet. And worth mentioning again...anytime you mention baby, Harrison smiles ear to ear.

what I am looking forward to the most: I would be lying if I didn't share the first thought that came to my mind when answering this question...I am looking forwarding to not being so scared. I am looking forward to a sense of calmness that I sure hope it finds me soon. I thought after the procedure last Friday I would find relief, but if anything I am more scared. I am scared of becoming connected to something we want and love so much and to have that taken away, I can not imagine. And it's totally obvious and clear we are already connected and are in love with Bee; so then why I am so scared? I have been avoided doing any shopping... (and that's not me). We are looking for a bassinet for the bedroom, found one I loved at a second hand store, I made 2 half hour trips to look at it again and decided not to buy it. I went back yesterday to purchase it and it had been sold. We also need a new baby monitor among a some other things, but I find it difficult to push myself to look. I am afraid I will by 37 weeks along and have not bought a single thing. I know we have time, but I am a planner. We had Harrison's nursery complete at 26 weeks.

worries: I worry about my job performance. I feel like I haven't been there for a couple of weeks, my mind is floating somewhere else. I worry about Bee, I worry about that I worry too much. I worry that I am not doing enough planning, I worry I have too much on my plate between work, photos, being a mom and a wife.

what's different this time around: Early movement. I felt Bee's first flutters at week 13. Those flutters feel more like a swimming gold fish now. I can't wait too feel strong regular kick, surely the best part of pregnancy.

symptoms: Bigger bras again this month. Yep, pretty certain if I didn't have this belly below this rack I could easily be up against those Victoria Secret Angel models. I am also a little more emotional, especially when it comes to Harrison's accomplishments. He has come so far.

maternity clothes: I have a few shirts, but most of my regular clothes still fit, but definitely more snug. I am excited to look some cute summer dresses, one specifically for our gender reveal photo session (in just a few weeks).

sleep: What's that? I haven't slept well in the past few weeks. I can sleep for as long as about 4-5 hours at a time max.

belly: Definitely growing! It's wider and softer than it was with Harrison's pregnancy. I never made an outty belly button with Harrison, but some days already it's showing it won't be long before Bee makes it certain that it will happen this pregnancy. I continue to use tons of cocoa butter, it helps against itching from skin stretching to accommodate Bee's growth.

movement: Yep, especially at night is when I feel those tiny kicks. I am usually glued to the lap top editing photos and then I feel those pokes. Bee is also active after I eat something he/she must really like.

boy/girl: My gut feeling is still a girl. Intelligender, the Chinese calender and Harrison say girl. Either boy or girl we will be over joyed! We find out two weeks from today!

milestones: Making it to the second trimester, it's been a bumpy road, but together Bee and I are a team and we have a whole team of support behind us.

comments from the general pubic: Your so small...Your going to have a beach ball. I had my first belly rub from a friend last week and she said, "whoa there really is bump there."

best moment of the month: Kicks, listening to Bee's tiny heart beat multiple times, the daily reminders from my i-Phone of pregnancy to dos. But best yet, the continued support from friends and family. I am always getting phone calls, texts, e-mails, and FB messages with supportive thoughts and prayers. This means the world to our family.


Now, the moment you have been waiting for...

I did a few shots in something with a little color, it makes my bump a little more, well bumpier.

 We even bought the "Bee Movie"

My favorite shot...told you he is so in love with Bee!

Are you still convinced there is no bump? Check out this comparison.

30 Months

30 months.

I know I posted this photo in my linked temptation post, but it's totally worth seeing again and perfect for this post.

At least 30 months isn't like turning 30... Not that 30 is a bad number, I am just not getting any older after I turn 29 next year.

Harrison is turning into a chatter box. No, your screen isn't broken and you are reading correctly. He's gaining confidence in talking and is able to attempt to repeat phrases and words that we say. Often he doesn't talk without prompts, but once prompted he can go, go go.

The other day he had his first, "I want to pick out what I am going to wear day." He went into his bedroom and pulled out his fleece Thomas the Train pajamas. Oh how I wanted to let him wear those pajamas, but fore casted for 80, fleece wouldn't cut it. After I put his pajamas back he threw himself on the floor in protest. He doesn't always like to be independent, so this burst of Independence was welcomed with open arms.

He does so many new things I wish I could post an entry everyday---trying to freeze everything in to my mind, especially with having a bad case of baby brain lately.

Since I don't have the time to post everyday, here are 30 things in the last 30 days all about 30 months.

1. Favorite animal: Elephant. He pretends to have the trunk and all.
2. FINALLY poops on the potty. He hasn't had a poop accident in more than two weeks. He is totally proud of himself.
3. Favorite foods: grapes, apples, cookies and fruit snacks
4. Using his plug less and less without our prompts
5. Likes to crawl around and pretend he is a dinosaur
6. More patience
7. Attempting to repeat everything you say
8. Will do practically anything for pretzels and fruit snacks
9. Daycare drop offs are no longer everyday melt downs
10. Same old, same old---still Mickey Mouse everything
11. Able to take off of his sandals with prompts
12. Giggles at television shows, sometimes it's more fun for me to watch him watch TV verses actually watching what is on.
13. Every time you ask him about Momma's baby he smiles and points to my belly. "Harrison boy or girl.?" "Girl," he says.
14. Favorite book: Currently Green Eggs & Ham followed my Curious George coming in second,
15. Gives Whitney Dog hugs unprompted and nice touches to the kitties. This is a huge relief for the animal members of the family.
16. Asked me to paint his toe nails the other night and I did. Purple.
17. Can count to 10 without assistance.
18. Struggles with identifying colors---a lot of green and purple everything,
19. Knows the morning routine well, if something changes he asks why.
20. Bed time has changed from 8:00 to 8:30 mainly because of it staying light so much longer, little hard tucking him into bed when the sun is shining.
21. Likes to shoot hoops in his basketball hoop and can actually make about half of his shots---huge improvement.
22. Obsessed with books---can sit still for 5 books or more.
23. Becoming more social...waves hi and bye rather than hiding.
24. Likes playing hide & seek
25. His Chore: Feeding Whitney Dog every evening
26. Does well when given choices
27. Gives the best kisses without having to beg him
28. Not scared of big storms/thunder lightening
29. Naps are getting shorter...about 2 hours (missed the 3 hr ones)
30. Sleeping in for Harrison is 6 am---we went backwards.

The beach

I wish I would have brought my big camera with... Shoulda, coulda, woulda---but it's a done deal.

Harrison and I took a trip to the beach last week. I even talked myself in to wearing a two piece suit. It wasn't my first choice, but I only own two piece suits so it was all or nothing. I braved it, even taking off my cover up. I am going to have to invest in a mom suit one of these days.

Harrison had a blast at the beach, so I need to post what few shots I got with instagram. And next time, yes the big camera will be lugged around. Lesson was learned.

This day was simply amazing---his giggles were contagious, he listen, played, splash laid out...I couldn't have asked for a more well behaved little boy, but then again I had water on my side, one of his greatest passions.

Enjoy a few peeks into what I experienced that day.

 Loving these splashes!

 Apparently rolling in the sand was a blast...It was an equal blast cleaning him off.

We are hoping to make it back to the beach Sunday.

Have a great memorial weekend!

The Procedure

I made it...well of coarse I did. I was going to post a fabulous photo of myself while my gown and cap, but come to find Doug isn't a instagram user and instead of saving the photos, he deleted them. Oh well, trust me, it wasn't too glamorous of a shot anyways.

Today was the procedure I dreaded...I dreaded it before I really knew if this was an option for us in preventing pre-term labor again.

I was checked in at 6:45 this morning. Since daycare doesn't open until 7...Harrison and daddy waited with me for a little bit until I needed to get hooked up and all that good stuff. I about lost it kissing Harrison good bye and he innocently ask, "Where momma going?" Doug arrived back to the hospital about 7:20. While waiting for Doug I got my gown on, which I usually wouldn't brag about, but honestly it was pretty awesome. The gown was called Bear Paws...it's hooked up to the wall and is filled with warm air. It was AMAZING. For someone who is always cold like I am....it was a little piece of heaven. Next the IV was started as the anesthesiologist came in and talked about the spinal I would be having. She also talked about giving me any drugs I might need to relax during the procedure, but saying baby would probably do better with the least amount of drugs. I didn't want/need any other drugs, I wanted to be alert and to know what was going on. By 7:30 Dr. Birdsall popped in and minutes later I was wheeled back to the OR.

In the OR I got some fancy compression boots on to help prevent blood clots. Next my spinal was started. I had a student start mine, so it took a little longer, but wasn't all that painful and I realize students need to learn, I was a student after all not all that long ago. It took about 10 to 15 minutes for the spinal to start working. I could still move my toes but that was about it.

Next, one important selection....Music. I learned my doctor isn't a country fan, but I am, so country is was. I made a couple of the nurses happy with that.

I needed to be hooked back up to heat because I started getting too cold of a body temp---yeah for more heat! I also had some O2 on, which is usually standard, especially if your pregnant. Next was more prep. I was completely numb by now, but it's one the most comfortable feeling in the world being spread Eagle with a room of 7-8 people, despite the fact I've already had a baby...still UNCOMFORTABLE. Enough said, you catch my drift.

I couldn't see a clock when the actual procedure started, but I think it was about 8:00. I felt nothing but a little pressure. The nurses and anesthesiologist were great throughout the procedure. The one nurse about halfway through the procedure asked me if I was a photographer because I looked familiar. Turns out I am friends with her sister in law who's little girl I have taken photos for. The anesthesiologist's husband just started getting into photography and it's driving her nuts with how many photos he's been taking. It was good taking a moment to take my mind off the procedure. The relief was short lived though, realizing where you are at the time. The scariest part of the procedure was the suctioning. Knowing your bleeding and pregnant is terrifying, no matter if it's expected or not.

The bleeding was brief and the doctor said once the sutures were tied off it stopped. I ended up getting two stitches. One stitch is higher in the cervix and there is another just below that. In a way it's double coverage. The procedure itself went well and ended at 8:24 am. Baby Bees heart rate was checked (and good in the 140s). I was wheeled back to recovery and hooked up to more heat. I was actually shaking without the heat from the OR to recovery, my hands a purple/blue. If anyone has had surgery before...ORs feel like you are being put on ice.

Doug was called back into see me at about 8:45. The doctor came back into see us. The procedure went as expected and he didn't anticipate I would have any complications. The cervix was still closed (which is only good news). I got a prescription for Tylenol #3 with codeine if I needed it. I will follow back up with the doctor Thursday. Until then no running, jumping, lifting, etc and for these next few days I need to limit activity.

The nurse came back in and said I need to stay in recovery until I could walk and pee again. Yep I give you all the details! I started to feel my legs well about a half hour into recovery, but feeling my hips and anything else--I was numbed out. I laid down and relaxed until about 10:30. I then was able to try standing and walking to the bathroom. The nurse asked me if I was dizzy or felt sick to my stomach. I lied and said no. I felt both, but I wanted outta there. I walked back to the room (with help) and baby Bees heart rate was checked again (all was well). After having my blood pressure checked and IV removed I was allow to get out of my heated gown. I got dressed, baby Bee was check a third and final time and we went over discharge papers. Doug pulled up the car and I had to be wheeled out (standard procedure) in a wheelchair to the car. I was still numb in my hips and honestly I couldn't tell if I was sitting or not...yep that numb. I was discharged at 11 am.

Perkins. The night before was Pizza Hut Cheesy bites for my last meal (no food after midnight the night before surgery). So by 11 I thought I would be starving, but turns out the spinal made me a little less hungry, but I figured maybe eating something would make me feel better. We stopped and dropped off my prescription on the way to Perkins for breakfast. I finally settled on potato pancakes as an important decision.

I forgot to mention I had a terrible headache. Turns out I found out a headache can be common after a spinal because the needle rubs up against your back bone. I ended up taking  Tylenol #3 when we got home and napped for 4 hrs. I can't say I felt like a million bucks waking up. No, actually I felt like I was hung over...probably a combination of the Tylenol and Spinal---which can last up to 8 hrs. The best part of waking up is that I had feeling in my hips again. Getting home this afternoon before the nap, I needed Doug to walk behind me getting up the stairs to our bedroom because my legs felt so heavy trying to take each step.

I sat outside and watched Harrison play for a little while tonight, but have been in bed since. I still don't feel 100% like me...I've watch a marathon of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant." I'm changing it up this evening. Doug picked up the "Vow," I have dying to see that movie!

As far as pain and bleeding...I don't have much. The doctor didn't anticipate much of either. The more my body gets used to the stitches the less cramping and burning I will have----just more of a waiting game now.

My husband has been amazing as always and thank you to my friends and family for all your support. Baby Bee has an amazing team behind him/her. Next week I get to show off my 16 week bump :)

Thank you, thank you for your support!

Linked 52: Temptation

Oh how I thought I would struggle on this week's theme, but a certain little boy made sure that wouldn't happen (well this week anyways).

I took Harrison to the beach for the first time of the year this last week. He loved it, absolutely loved it. I wish I would have lugged my giant camera around to catch all of his giggles and splashes.

I also had a busy week in the photography world, photographing three, 3 year olds last week. After photographing those kids... I thought to myself, "Why can't I photograph my own kid?" "I mean seriously what am I doing wrong?" After more than two months of not trying a single session, I was tempted to try again on Tuesday evening.

The session started out for linked 52: wanting to capture some temptation shots, because honestly after all these months of hiding from the camera I had practically given up on getting any framable photos.

Harrison loves water...I mean LOVES water! He loves to splash in it, throw rocks in it and worst of all he likes to drink any water (clean or not, yes I know it's gross). I gave him the choice between the water and bridge or the water and the sand, he chose the bridge. On our way to the water and the bridge I asked him, "Are you going to let Momma take your picture?" Silence.... Well I didn't know what to make of this because when I usually ask him that question his whines and says, "no." So, I guess silence was a OK thing?

Finally...we made it to the bridge. Are you still with me? I am awful wordy and I would apologize, but that's me. OK the bridge and water.


 This is a 2.5 year old's temptation...



To jump or not to jump...

He had a blast and a peek into his side smiles are probably some of my favorite photos of him. I can't believe how much he has changed, grown up to be such a handsome little man.


Unprompted he decided to get a little closer look at the water. He was dying to jump in... So I needed a diversion.

What parent is not tempted to bribe their children? I am firm believer in that when it comes to photos. If he would smile for Mommy we could go get Zesto Iceream....


Here we go...

Apparently it worked like a charm. Thank you Zesto twist cone.

The temptation for photos, the temptation of water and the temptation of bribery.


Do you need more temptation? Check out these other posts!

Stacey, Michelle, Heather, Tracey, Jenn, Jessica, Amanda, Kristin, Sara, Tracy, Lesli, Janet, Naomi, Rhonda, Rose, Carla, Heidi, Veronica, Amy, Liza, Heather, Jean & Kristi

Tomorrow.

I haven't slept more than a wink in a week. Honestly the few winks of sleep I've gotten I owe to benedryl, one of few medications you can take while pregnant. How I will sleep tonight is beyond me. Tomorrow is the cerclage day. It's an outpatient procedure, only requiring a few stitches, surgery time is roughly 45 minutes and recovery time a few hours...so why am I freaking out?

I am. I have been a total nut case for a week now. I feel like I haven't been myself. I am social worker, a people person but not now. I am inpatient, my fuse is short and all I want is tomorrow to be done and over with. I feel like I am looking at giant ticking clock that's moving in slow motion.

I am not scared of needles, not scared of pain (been through a natural delievery), just scared something is going to go wrong, scared this won't be the right anwer and I could spend all day talking about what other fears I have. I know it's not good to be this anxious during pregnancy, especially high risk.

I've done a lot of everything this week to take my mind off of this. Since I am still early in my second trimester I don't feel baby Bee move all the time yet, sometimes a couple days go by before I feel Bee again. Last night was pretty awesome. I felt Bee swim around like a little gold fish (first time in a few days) as I was editing some client newborn images. Those tiny kicks, the best thing for this momma right now.

The Men In My Life

These men take turns take turns making me laugh, making me cry, making me angry and making my life have so much meaning. I was too busy being spoiled on Mother's day that I never posted an entry that day.

Just the other night I needed my boys to complete a project for me...

 A new photo prop for one of my 5 (or possibly 6) sessions I have this week.

 There is just something I love about these father/son moments. I couldn't have chosen a better partner to bring children into the world with, he's an amazing father.

Are you looking for this week's linked post? Scroll down. I needed to sneak in this entry before my client editing marathon begins.

Linked 52: Anger

I thought this week's theme would be the easiest theme yet... At 2.5 you can count on at least two good temper tantrums a day. However it seemed throughout the week I never had the camera ready when the moment came. Last night came and I got an aha moment. All I needed to do was get out the camera and Harrison wouldn't want a thing to do with me and I was sure I could catch a glimpse of his face before he does that laying face down on the ground routine or the hide behind the garbage can routine he does if he doesn't get his way... Wrong again.

He decided to play. I took maybe a series of 10 shots and ended up with these. I told him to show me his "Mad" face.

The end result...

Do you want to see a little more "anger?" Check out these posts:

Stacey, Michelle, Heather, Tracey, Andrea, Jenn, Jessica, Amanda, Kristin, Sara, Tracy, Lesli, Janet, Naomi, Rhonda, Rose, Carla, Heidi, Veronica, Amy, Liza, Heather, Jean & Kristi

A Mutt

I feel like a mutt, a little bit of everything today. I am nervous, scared, happy, apprehensive and the list goes on.

I'll start out with the happy part.. Baby Bee flutters, yes movement at 14 weeks (actually 13), pretty amazing. I didn't feel Harrison first kicks until I was 17 weeks. I saw the doctor today and Bee's heart rate was a steady 145. During listening we heard a loud kick and the doctor laughed and said, "I even felt that one."  I can't wait until these flutters turn into steady kicks...hands down my favorite part of being pregnant.

June 12... It's marked down and circled on my calender. This is our big ultra sound. I am so excited, when we were pregnant with Harrison our hospital didn't have 3D capabilities like they do now; I can't wait for these images. We are also the people that can't wait until November to find out the gender. This will be a perfect birthday present to me as I turn another year younger that day as well.

May 25...Surgery has been scheduled. It's a routine, out patient...but why doesn't this make me feel any better? I do, but I then I don't. We are doing the cerclage on a preventive, elective basis...which means, yes this is our choice. My primary doctor gave me mixed feelings today again as to if he is on board with us or not since there is no clear cut reasoning for Harrison's prematurity. The specialist we saw said a cerclage is an option, she has never done one that she has regretted doing. I feel pulled in so many directions. If we didn't do the cerclage I couldn't live with the guilt of not having done something more I could have, but the cerclage has risks and by far it's no guarantee and can not prevent preterm labor,  it can only help with cervical insufficiency.

When it comes down to it...we are doing the surgery, I just wish I had the extra security by my doctor that we are making the right choice. The problem with this, is that there is no right choice and maybe that's why he isn't for or against it or from what I can tell.

Today I had labs drawn for surgery next week and spoke with a pre-opt nurse about surgery. Right now I am the first patient for Friday. As far as anesthesia...I won't know what I am getting for the procedure until I get there and they decide...they might do a spinal/epidural or completely under.

I am looking forward to having this behind us and start not being so scared, if that is possible. Everyday that passes is one more day closer to the due date.

iPhone keepers

I've had my iPhone for a just over a month now...I don't know what I did before I had this thing. I will say the camera is about million times better than my old phone, it still compares nothing to my beloved 60d Canon, but it's always with me.

Here are a few photos I've taken in last month. There is a few missing, but these collages were my first creations on the phone.

A Special Day

The day first started at 2:41 am when I got a text from my expectant friend/photography client Nina. I slept through the first two texts that read, "My water just broke." "I am going to the hospital in a little bit, I'll keep you posted." At 4:20 am Nina called me and said, " I am a 6 or 7 and I am going fast." For those of you that don't know...this soon to be mom was going to my first ever birth to photograph, I've known it for months and as each day grew closer the excitement grew! I told Nina I would hop in the shower quick and be there within the hour. Walking out the door at 4:45 am to head to the hospital Nina called to say she was at a 9. I sped all the way to the hospital (which luckily is only about a mile away from our house). I had to check in at security, where I told them this is a rush I need to get up there! I practically ran through the hospital put my hand on door and heard the baby cry. My heart sank for a minute...how could I have missed this? I entered the room as the baby girl was being placed on Nina (4:55 am). I got out the camera and started clicking. My first shots were of dad cutting the cord. What I realized at this point I hadn't missed capturing anything, this was just the beginning.
I often think of myself as a shy/timid person, but when it comes to work and photography I burst with confidence and do what I am supposed to do...in this case, keep clicking the camera.

My favorite moment was this...(shot less than 5 minutes after my arrival).

Being here at that moment experiencing this was priceless...an opportunity of a lifetime, not only for a photographer, but as a person.

For those of you that are my faithful readers you know our story. I have one photo taken from our old fashioned cell phone from our son's Harrison's birth 2.5 years ago. But what is the most magical about these photos is seeing the joy in welcoming a baby.

Below is beautiful mom Nina holding baby girl Danica. She is 7 lb 13 oz of love.

The reason I chose to share a few of these photos with you is because I gained so much from this birth. As a mother of a preemie I didn't hold Harrison for the first time until he was two days old. Those were probably the longest two days of my life. Nina shared Danica with me...I held her at 20 minutes new. It was a feeling I only describe as amazing. Even though she isn't mine, doesn't change the feeling I got from this.

Going through this birth in real life opened my eyes to what a great experience birth can be. The only other birth I've ever seen is my own...which was absolutely terrifying knowing this was happening 3 months too soon. Being pregnant this second time having Danica's birth mind some how puts me at ease. Her birth can't erase my memory, but helped me see the other side and for that I am so thankful to have had this chance.

I spent several hours at hospital not only photographing beautiful Danica, but talking with Nina whom if you are wondering we met through e-mail and photos a couple of years ago. Nina challenged me to photograph their wedding reception (and I don't do weddings). I reluctantly agreed which was one of the best decisions I have ever made, not professionally, but personally. Nina and her husband Scott are the nicest people anyone could ever ask to meet.

And Miss Danica earned her racing name (her daddy is a huge racing fan) as she arrived more speedy than expected. Danica didn't wait for the doctor, the nurses delivered her, she held on in time so her daddy was there minutes before her birth and I arrived minutes after. I think she won race! :)

Sadly this morning I learned baby Danica got an infection that required her to be transferred to another hospital NICU today (the same NICU Harrison spent two months at). She will definitely be in good hands of these nurses and doctors. Thoughts and prayers go out to the Maschka Family. Wishing Miss Danica a speedy recovering so she can join big brother Dawson at home very soon!

Linked 52: UP

I was so excited for this week's linked theme, "Up." All I could think of the Disney movie, "Up." I couldn't wait to blow a huge stack of balloons and take Harrison to huge open field with aviator shades to photograph. Perfect right? That was my inspiration, perhaps not how a 2 year old's mind works anyways. As of lately Harrison is disliking the camera more than ever, unless he is taking photos or doesn't know I am taking his photo(s).

I got lucky enough to snap this one without his knowledge... I call this an accomplishment.

Be sure to check out other friends participating in Linked 52.

Stacey, Michelle, Heather, Tracey, Andrea, Jenn, Jessica, Amanda, Kristin, Sara, Tracy, Lesli, Janet, Naomi, Rhonda, Rose, Carla, Heidi, Veronica, Amy, Liza, Heather, Jean & Kristi

The Specialist

A bit of relief. A bit of a novel.


Today we met Dr. Assel, she is a perinatal specialist. Dr. Assel was absolutely fantastic, I immediately liked her the minute she walked through the door, despite the fact she was 45 minutes behind schedule.

We discussed options for this pregnancy helping us reach full term or at least 32-37 weeks. The hardest determination of deciding our coarse of action for Bee is the fact that my case is not typical. Dr. Assel was honest in saying she doesn't have an answer to the best coarse of treatment for this pregnancy. During my first pregnancy I showed a lot of signs of incompetent cervix, but following that diagnosis most babies are miscarried between 15-18 weeks typically where I held Harrison 28-29 weeks. Looking at my case though I could have started dilating early on and it just didn't progress as fast as it typically would have in most incompetent cervix cases. Another view into Harrison's early arrival could have simply just been pre-term labor which expectantly occurred and they just don't know why. However, most preterm labor is very painful, which I experienced little to no pain with Harrison's labor and delivery. If you remember I walked into the Emergency Room and was dilated to a 9 with Harrison and my biggest complaint was pressure, not pain which more resembles an incompetent cervix. The real cause to Harrison's preterm birth will never be known. Dr. Assel said to me today, "What I would have given to be your doctor on the day you came in dilated to nine and not knowing it."

We discussed two very good options to approach this second pregnancy.

#1. Cerclage: Cervical cerclage helps prevent miscarriage or premature labor caused by cervical incompetence. The procedure is successful in 75% to 80% of cases. Cervical cerclage appears to be effective when true cervical incompetence exists, but unfortunately the diagnosis of cervical incompetence is very difficult and can be inaccurate. Ideally, an elective cervical cerclage is done between weeks 12 and 16 of pregnancy. Dr. Assel explained that they want to use the highest part of your cervix and close that off and securing stitches on both sides of the cervix. The procedure is done as a outpatient surgery. I would receive a spinal/epidural before the procedure and abstain from any physical activity for 2-3 days or longer depending on the situation. But like I mentioned early on in this post, if this isn't true cervial incompetence the cerclage WILL NOT prevent preterm labor. However, having a cerclage put in, I might feel contractions I might not have been able to feel if I hadn't had the procedure done and those are very painful because of the cerclage. Knowing this, I maybe able to make it to the hospital and receive medication to stop the labor. In saying this, everything has it's risks. Dr. Assel mentioned in some of her readings she has done the cerclage can actually stir up premature labor if placed for an incompetent cervix when really it's premature labor, not cervical incompetence.

#2. Watch/Wait & Progesterone Injection Treatment: Progesterone is a hormone. It plays a key role during pregnancy.In early pregnancy, the hormone helps your uterus grow and keeps it from contracting. (If your uterus contracts in early pregnancy, this may lead to miscarriage.) In later pregnancy, progesterone helps your breasts get ready to make breast milk. It also helps your lungs work harder to give oxygen to your growing baby.Recent studies show that for some women, especially if they have a short cervix or if they already had a preterm birth, being given progesterone during pregnancy may help reduce the risk of having a premature baby. There are two kinds of progesterone treatment: vaginal gel and shots. Studies to date show that gel may help reduce preterm birth for pregnant women with a short cervix. Shots are recommended for pregnant women who already had a preterm birth. Choosing injections is about 50% effective in preventing preterm labor. I would receive one injection per week starting at 16 weeks and going through 37 weeks. This would be a watch and wait approach would be measuring my cervix regularly (often) using a trans vaginal ultra sound and long with progesterone injections. The benefit to the watch and wait/injection approach is the fact my cervix may not be incompetent Harrison's preterm but was just spontaneous. Spontaneous preterm birth means labor began on its own, without drugs or other methods. Or the sac around the baby broke early, causing labor.


Each of these two options have benefits and risks and Dr. Assel told me I am a big decision maker in this process I should have a say in what I (we) want to do. I really valued Dr. Assel, everything about her (bet you can't tell I really liked her). I asked about a combination of the two options, but we can only choose one coarse of treatment, doubling up does not increase the success rate.

Currently we are in a good position to make any decision we want. I am 13 weeks, right smack in the middle of these options, which both are good, but not a guarantee for a full term baby.

As far as I know I am not dilated at all. We didn't do an ultra sound today (like I hoped)...but Dr. Assel said measuring the cervical length in the first trimester isn't an indicator of what will happen in the second trimester, it's a just a starting basis.

I've done hours and hours of research on prematurity and preterm labor since Harrison was born. I can whip off statistics like crazy and honestly could probably write a book about it. I know pros and cons inside and out and we are choosing to do an elective cerclage. The cerclage will be done this month. I am not sure if my primary OBGYN will do it or Dr. Assel will do it. Dr. Assel was going to call Dr. Birdsall and discuss today's appointment and our decision and we can go from there. Dr. Assel said she has performed many cerclages and never regretted doing one of them. She said,"I can't make decisions for you, but I think you are making a good choice, I don't know if you would be as lucky the second time around."

Overall mixed news at today's appointment...Something I expected, I am not a text book case to anything. Our trip to the ER two weeks ago? Unexplainable. I am mystery, so I must make life more colorful not just black and white.

I see Dr. Birdsall on Thursday next week for a regular prenatal visit and to discuss a surgery date. Other than if Dr. Assel does the surgery I won't see her again as a specialist. She's a specialist that travels and only stays at hospitals for short periods of time and travels on to another hospital, she's great and I wish she could stay. If things progress well my plan is to still deliver in Winona, if complications a rise I will deliver at Gundersen as they are equipped with a NICU we know all to well.

Hoping and praying for the best.

Everyday Play

My favorite thing to capture in photos is everyday play. 

As of lately I haven't taken as many as I could and should have. What I love most about editing photos of Harrison is that I don't have to make them professional quality--it's nice to take a break from editing client sessions to focus on this...

Linked 52: Mother (Mommy)

The other day I was looking back in the achieves of the 20,000 + photos I've taken of Harrison in the past 2.5 years. We have two external hard drives (and need another soon) and my lap top is jammed packed not to mention my google account saves all of my blog photos (so there is 720 + posts of photos from that as well). And to make it clear, I am not photo obsessed.


I decided to pull out a collection of some oldies & newbies for this weeks linked post.

Warm Fuzzy Mom Moments

I can't believe I get to be a mother for a second time, life is amazing. 

 Be sure to check out other friends participating in Linked 52. I added a new blog this week, so it's not to late to join us...Next week's theme is Up.

 Stacey, Michelle, Heather, Tracey, Andrea, Jenn, Jessica, Amanda, Kristin, Sara, Tracy, Lesli, Janet, Naomi, Rhonda, Rose, Carla, Heidi, Veronica, Amy, Liza, Heather,  Jean & Kristi